I awoke this morning in a luscious haze. Stretching, I grinned from ear to ear because I knew I could devote an entire day to writing. Because I work in a library, my work hours aren’t 9-5 and I don’t have to go in today until 5pm. I knew I could dedicate the day to my Muse and artistic pursuits. After all, I am a romance author. I deserve a day full of romance and creativity and whimsy.
Then reality hit.
Last week, we had March Break for the kids. As a result, yesterday involved a lot of running around and ended on a lazy note. So when I headed downstairs this morning, I found a pile of dirty dishes, many of which were left over from my two teen boys yesterday. It seemed they cleaned their rooms. Now this sounds positive, right? Kids cleaning their rooms? Not when they unearth old used dishes.
My eldest son likes to kick it up a notch. Not only did he have dirty dishes in his room, he had bits of food (a no-no in our house). Because he was sick recently, he consumed a lot of oranges. Guess who found all the peels?
I should mention today wasn’t totally set aside for writing. Our cat Sweetie was way overdue for a checkup so I had to get her to the vet by 10am. No biggie, right? It becomes a biggie when you realize you don’t have a cat carrier in the house.
Picture me, if you will, in my housecoat, running around the house trying to find a lost cat carrier at 8am. My hair isn’t brushed. I haven’t showered. I’m digging through the basement junk, where we normally stow the carrier … and coming up short. All the while, I am stressing out because I might have to find a store willing to sell me a carrier by 9am.
Luckily, I realized my father-in-law had borrowed the carrier a couple of years ago and we hadn’t brought it back home. So I thrust the children toward their respective schools, drove like a fiend into the next suburb on a cat carrier mission, drove back to the house to try to insert Sweetie into said carrier, and get her to the vet.
By 9:30, I was sweating. OK, possibly cursing, too.
Did I mention I had to collect a fecal sample from Sweetie as well? Because I did. So not only was I rummaging through the basement today, turning over boxes and books, I had to rummage through her poop.
I suppose the most important part of this story is Sweetie got a clean bill of health and we got a hefty bill. There are some others morals, too:
-Children hide food.
-Children will spontaneously engage in chores, only to disguise the fact they haven’t done chores for more than a week.
-Cats scratch when you put them in a carrier. Wear long sleeves.
-Oh, and the most important of all. Romance authors do not always have lives full of romance and creativity and whimsy. We’re just like everyone else who carries cat poop in baggies.