One year later. A family lives with grief.

Grief. It seems like a strange topic to be discussing at a romance blog, doesn’t it? Sadly, it is part of life and romance novels are a representation of life.

Tomorrow, it’ll be one year since my mother-in-law Gail passed away. For a couple of months, my family members have been in a state of quiet dread, not knowing how the anniversary would feel. I have been on tenterhooks, waiting for signs of sadness in others.

Several friends told me the first year is hardest and that reaching milestones without that family member can be hard. I’ve learned this is true. Although everyone in my family has been stoic, I could see the milestones were tough to swallow. Everyone seems ready to assume the burden of the others. My eldest came to us the other day, so concerned about how my father-in-law was doing. Meanwhile, he was having a bad day himself.

In some ways, Gail resides with us still. We joke about her a lot in an attempt to keep her memory alive for our sons. Gail loved her wine (“Red, please!”). We sometimes talk about how she never has to worry about what time it is in Heaven. It’s always happy hour.

I know tomorrow will be difficult but I have no idea yet exactly what form the grief will take. Perhaps some quiet introspection or a prayer or two. Perhaps we’ll see some tears and punching of pillows. No matter what, Gail is not forgotten and there will definitely be a glass of red wine in my immediate future.

We miss you, Gail.



12 thoughts on “One year later. A family lives with grief.

  1. Many hugs to you and your family.

    It will get easier as time moves on, but she’ll always be a part of your lives.

    My grandmother died about ten years ago, but she’s still with us in a sense. Her life was filled with doing things she loved. She made my clothes when I was a baby, tailored my grandfather’s suits, reupholstered furniture, made stuffed toys, repaired and restuffed my teddy numerous times, made the train for my sister-in-law’s wedding gown, and more.

    My mum still has and wears many of the blouses my grandmother made her and I still have my teddy. He needs restuffing.

    She still comes up in conversation especially when I have a sewing question. I ask my mum and she invariably says, ” I don’t know. You’d have to ask Mamakitty.” (Mamakitty is what I called my grandmother since I could talk)

    Your Mother-in-law will always be there with you on spirit. Always.



  2. People say that time heals, but I say, time helps us get through it, we never get over it. It could be a year, ten years and even thirty years later, and we still miss them so very much, but as time goes by we adjust to not having their physical presence, and still cherish and enjoy their spiritual presence and all the wonderful memories.

    Here’s to commemorating a woman who has left a lot of love and wonderful people on earth, but I believe in my heart she can still feel all your love, warmth and is cheering you all on day by day.

    Hugs and love, my friend. Keeping you and your family in thoughts and prayers.


  3. Sending big squeezy hugs to you, Rosanna! Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Together you will come thru, find comfort in each other. Finding positive or funny things to share about her helps. It takes time for sure, it will never go away totally, but it will be easier.


  4. My daughter has been going though all these firsts. she loved you all as Arind loved Natalie but they would want you to remember them happily and live your lives to the fullest. Hugs to you and your family.


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