Trying to turn my backlist blues into something wonderful.

This past week, I did something that scared me.

I asked for the rights back to my older books. 16 in total. My shifter series, my selkie series and a few standalones. I now have to decide what to do with them.

Right now, I’m trying to stay open-minded. I’m exploring the world of self-publishing for some of the books, and I hope to submit others to different publishers. Either way, asking for the rights back left me in a tailspin. Because no matter what I decide, I’m left with the possibility that some of those books won’t see the light of day again.

As I’ve shared here before, 2019 was already a tough year in publishing for me. As a result, asking for my rights back on these olders books felt like a sucker punch, even though I initiated this change. I want to be clear, I didn’t ask for the rights back because of anything the publisher of those books did. It was just time for a change.

But now, quite frankly, I’m having to work through my fear, and that’s not easy. I find it difficult to be creative when stressed. Still, I’m trying to look at this positively. It could be the start of something good. In fact, I want to rework some of the stories and make them stronger. As writers, we are in this amazing position to learn as we go along, so I welcome the opportunity to fix little issues in my first books. However, this is a massive undertaking and I know I won’t be able to tackle them all at once.

It’s been hard. This past week, I’ve felt less like an author than I did since day one. Imposter syndrome hit me hard. My emotions have been all over the place.ย  Last year this time, I had won the Northern Hearts award for A Good Man. This year, I am a writer coping with extreme self-doubt. There are days when I feel as if very few people would notice if I decided to pack it in. I would just be one less writer in an overly-saturated field.

And yet it’s never been in my nature to quit, and I love those books. When I started writing, it was because I needed to hear certain stories, and those are the ones I wrote. I hope to rediscover that awe in writing again, that passion. Maybe I really can turn my backlist blues into something wonderful.

Either way, the books in question will likely become unavailable some time this month. I’m not sure when. I hope my readers will stay tuned and continue to follow my writing journey. And I hope to share some good news with you soon.

Thank you,


12 thoughts on “Trying to turn my backlist blues into something wonderful.

  1. I have full faith that you will come out of this better than ever. You’ll get things sorted and I’m sure you will be happier than ever with things once it’s all said and done. ๐Ÿ™‚


  2. So many of my friends seem to be struggling with doubt and possibly quitting this year. It breaks my heart to see them (and you) with confidence shaken. You’re so talented and I wish you nothing but the best. I’d love to support you any way I can.


  3. I understand the fears and worries. I’ve been struggling as well trying to figure out where to go from here or if it was time to pack it in and give it all up. I’m still undecided. I wish you the best and I’m sure there are wonderful things in your future!


    • Thanks, Meka. Ugh, it’s so stressful, isn’t it? I’d hate to see you pack it in. I wish you all the best as well, my friend. I’m here if you need anything. Hugs!


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